The Contract (day 3)
Welcome to day 3!
Today you'll learn concrete techniques that you can use to make clear contracts.
Here we go!
Video: Contracting Techniques
This video is about contracting techniques. They help to create clarity and unity when concluding a contract.
Summary:
- Contracts can be concluded with oneself and with others.
- Ensure a resourceful state (agree on an appointment and the subject of the appointment).
- Explain what you need and why. Communicate “I-messages”.
- Look at the subject of the contract from the perspective of the other.
- Agree only on win-win contracts.
- Does the contract feel mutually consistent? If not, the contract negotiation can also be postponed.
- Controlled dialogue: Repeat in your own words what you have understood after each statement made by the other person. Only move to the next statement after the repeated has been affirmed. Then it's your opponent's turn.
Exercise: Contract with yourself
You can download a PDF here. This is how you can make a contract with yourself that excludes self-sabotage and brings you safely to your goal. Remember: A good contract is mainly made from the adult-self.
Video: Practical example
In this video I give you an example of a contract. This situation actually happened to me like this. Look at how we solved it.
By concluding the contract, I understood that Viola's bad mood at home was not because of me, but because she was hungry. For me this is another example of the fact that you can get to know your contract partner even better through good contract work.
Good to know: "Contracts protect and create added value for both parties."
Exercise:
Take your situation from the past 2 days.
Continuation: What techniques could you use to get positive results from the contract negotiations?
For example, "I want to avoid problems with my supervisor, we often misunderstand each other when it comes to completing tasks. We have not set a clear time frame yet, and I always accept assignments in the child-ego state. This is not a good condition for a contract. I will ask until when the task should be completed. Then I summarize in my own words what I have understood (controlled dialogue).
Post your examples in the comments section so others can learn from you.
You have successfully completed the compact course transactional analysis. Great!
What did we talk about in the last three days?
- You got to know the contract concept of transactional analysis
- You know what contracts are in terms of transaction analysis
- You know that communication is ambiguous by nature
- You know what the contract method can be used for
- You know requirements for contracts
- You know which components can make sense for a contract
- You know concrete contracting techniques
- You got to know examples of the use of contracts
- You have performed exercises to integrate the contract concept into your professional practice
Congratulations!
Exercise 2:
To better integrate your new knowledge into your life, it is helpful to reflect about it. Answer these questions:
- What output do you take with you from the compact course?
- How can you use what you have learned in your day-to-day life? Be specific and name situations.
Post your answers in the comment function so that others can find examples where they can make use of TA.
If you have a question, write in the comments function. I'm also happy if you write me some feedback.
See you tomorrow,
Your Steffen
By the way: Contracts are one of 11 learning modules of the basic course Transactional Analysis. So if you want to dive deeper and learn the basics of transactional analysis, you can do so here. (including certification)